Trauma #tbi dysregulates the nervous system. This dysregulation cause’s the body to activate a trauma response. This response, as in my case, may cause parts of the body to freeze, becoming rigid and/or immobile. I work hard everyday to combat this, constantly trying new and different strategies that have promise. However, I haven’t been able to achieve my goals yet. This is where inspiration comes in. I draw a lot of my traumatic brain inspiration from music. I highly recommend hyperbaric oxygen therapy also, it’s literally what my dreams are made of. My best strategy for dealing with stress #tbi is to listen to music that give’s personal joy then enter the hyperbaric chamber 

EMDR, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, is a newer trauma therapy model that I have been doing the last several years. I was admittedly nervous to begin this therapy, as I was unsure how it would work given that I can only see from one of my eyes. I had a full enuclation, complete eye removal, on my left side. My EMDR therapist was confident that it could still work and eased me in with talk therapy. I’m happy to report that this therapy does indeed work, it’s enabled me to recall memories previously forgotten #tbi If interested in trauma therapy I highly recommend seeking EMDR. With a bachelor’s degree in counseling myself, I feel trauma related therapies get an incorrect stigma and should be more openly discussed. The Sopranos on HBO,  my personal favorite show of all time, does a great job of displaying this point. 

Unfortunately, #tbi is not the only trauma in my lifetime. I actually have a long, otherwise complicated, laundry list of traumas. A lot of these traumas are oddly, somewhat ironically, intertwined to the New York Jets. Most significantly life altering was the loss of my best friend to suicide. I found this out whilst attending a New York Jets game. His name was John Pflug,  it’s not to be forgotten #tbi Anyway, losing John happened over ten years before my #tbi so I’m still trying to pick up those missing pieces of myself. This is a lot to ask of the mind while entrenched in this battle with #tbi The body keeps the score, however, and mine is storing trauma. My meat suit is displaying this trauma through muscle incapacity, specifically left arm mobility, and an inability to walk currently. It seems to me, I need to heal previous trauma’s in order to defeat #tbi This is a difficult task, but nothing is impossible. 

I’ve been watching the mind movie I created a lot recently, this was inspired through reading a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I’m hoping to tap into my inner healer through positive thoughts. If you believe it, you can achieve it – is the infamous one liner attached to this belief. I believe in myself and that I will walk again. I’m no longer preoccupied with this, however, as I’ve reprioritized family. My good friend Dan has repeatedly reminded me of the old adage: safety first. My counter argument is that family is always first. 

Losing my best friend John and then subsequently suffering #tbi has taught me that life can change in an instant. It’s paramount, however, to heal old wounds before healing current one’s. I would like to end with lyrics from the hymn of healing that I’ve been using as a mantra recently, it’s a jam I’ve been playing on repeat since the fall ‘I am a radiant being, of light and healing. I feel peace, I am safe.‘